Facing My Fears

I am an avoider.

I admit that I try to avoid all unpleasant things in life if I possibly can.

The things I avoid can range from insignificant to very important.  And I feel remorseful when I look back over the things I have avoided.

I avoid doctors and dentists.

I avoid people in pain.

I avoid wakes and funerals.

I avoid visiting people who are ill and not expected to live.

I avoid cantoring in church.

I avoid volunteering for things.

I avoid sad news stories.

Isn't that embarassing?  And why do I avoid all these things? 

I've been meditating on it and realize it is due to fear. 

I am afraid.  Afraid of pain:  physical, mental and spiritual.  I run away from things that force me to endure these things.  Yet by running, I am making them bigger and scarier.  They will not go away!

And I am missing out on the life God intended for me by avoiding the uncomfortable things that happen in this life.  No one here on earth will have a life free of pain, anguish or fear.  It will come at some point.

I need to pray to ask God to help me embrace all of life, the sad and the joyful, to face my fears;  and to put others' needs before mine--to be a servant.  Perhaps in that way I will overcome my fears and have courage in Him.

   I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.